Haven’t you ever felt like your ideas are not being heard, and it makes you feel like they don’t really matter. I know everything I come up with isn’t going to turn into a great work of art, but I do think that I have good productive ideas that deserve to be tried, at the very least acknowledged. I never felt like I was the smartest person, I never really felt like I was one of those people with a real talent for anything particular, I have just been mediocre at everything, so for me to speak up and verbalize my opinion takes a lot of courage. I don’t expect the world to walk on egg shells or to pamper me because I take rejection poorly, or have a hard time speaking my mind, but I never really expected the things people had to say about my ideas urk me.
I know I can’t be the only person that grinds their teeth a little while someone is critiquing / criticizing their work. If your anything like me you are prone to rejection and practically expect it to be lurking around every corner, so you prepare, even over prepare yourself, in order to be able to tell yourself, “at least you tried you best, but you knew that wasn’t going to work any ways.” I can handle people editing something I have thought of or trying to improve on it, but just completely dismissing it? I don’t know why people think that stepping on someone else, will put them one step ahead.
Keeping up an attitude like that seems depressing but it actually better then constantly being disappointed, this way I am always right, whether it works or not. I have lived this way my entire life and there is no point in changing things now. I just was hoping that once I was no longer in school, maybe now that I have grown up a bit I can let my thoughts flow without worrying so much about the repercussions of a thumbs down response. It’s not like I have to cry in a corner if someone didn’t like my opinion, but my blood starts to boil, and I am sure that it’s not good for that vain in the side of your neck to pulse quite so hard.
The fact remains, the same kids that got away with being little jerks because everyone used the excuse “kids will be kids” are now adult little jerks.
You would think that somebody stole my teddy bear and ripped his heart out with the way that I am complaining about not being heard. But I am not in school anymore I am not in a place where the dumb assignment means nothing more than extra recycling waste on a school teachers desk. I am at work now, and my thoughts and opinions should mean something now. I know I will make myself heard.