A New Chapter

Life really does play out in chapters….


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I think I’m Regressing


Ever since my boyfriend started taking the night shift it has been ridiculous trying to sleep alone at night. I feel like I toss and turn all night because I wake up with all the pillows all over the floor, and the blankets are twisted and hanging off the bed. I thought it would get easier after a while, I even bought a new pillow that is about the same size as me and still I feel like I get no rest in the bed without him there.

I am so tired today it is ridiculous, I feel like I haven’t slept at all, and to top it off it is a super slow day at work so there is not even a high pressure project to keep me awake. I contemplated finding a privacy room to fall asleep in but just my luck I would be caught and fired…. so I went and got a coffee instead.

I have been sleeping next to him for almost 7 years now how am I supposed to get used to sleeping alone?!?! I was thinking that getting to stretch out, finally not be pushed to the edge of the bed, or not being smashed when we rolls over would be enough to satisfy my need for comfy sleep. Unfortunately now I have become accustom to being smashed in my sleep. I even tried piling pillows on top of myself so I could replicate the smashing and nope… just couldn’t breathe and got over heated way to fast.

Every time he leaves when I am about to go to sleep I feel like a little kid that is trying to force their dad to stay home.

I have the whole kid persona down. I have the puckered lip out, the big sad eyes, and I even wine a little bit even though I know him leaving is inevitably going to happen. I would kick and scream but by the time the clock says 9:30 I only have enough strength to push my pillow around and huff and puff a little bit.

Oh well, we have to do what we have to do in order to finally get a house. Though we are practically living in a house now it is not nearly as big as I would like for as many people live there. So once we are walking through the doors of our new house and he is all done with all this night shift crap and he can find a new job or a new shift it will all be worth it, but until then I guess I will have to regress to the prime age of 4 and squeal every time I see him leave or snuggle him when I come home from work and he is still asleep. I just have to take advantage of the little time that we do get to spend together.

If I wasn’t clingy before I sure am now. Every time we are just sitting around next to each other I find myself just trying to touch him anywhere I can, grabbing the little arm of his shirt, scratch his back, pinch or poke… its doesn’t matter to me. When he finally asked me what I was doing I told him, “just tying to get some physical attention while I can!”

Well so far my only coping mechanism I have found is every morning when I have to get ready alone I listen to the same song, it almost makes me want to cry but it is just want I need to hear at that moment so it evens out. (and for the record I haven’t cried yet!)

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Some Catchy Alternative Rock


Another one of those catchy songs that you cant get out of your head, can’t stop singing down the hall, and can’t stop repeat playing on YouTube 

Blue October- The Chills

Something a little more laid back but still very catchy

3 Doors Down – Every Time You Go

This one is much more upbeat sounds a little 80’s but still catchy as always

Hinder – All American Nightmare


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The Fad


I know everyone is sick to death of asking or hearing this question but I have to ask…. What is up with this Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus obsession. Can people honestly look at themselves in the mirror  with a straight face and like their music?!?!?! I mean don’t get me wrong I am sure there is a market for maybe like 10-13 year old girls but there are not 700,000,000 girls ages 10-13 with access to internet , and like those artist. Now I am not trying to offend the people who gave J-bebs a cup of their blood but let be real who is seriously driving down the road singing Justin Beiber’s “Baby” song and sippin on their coffee???

Baby… Baby ….. Baby…..

I’m not one of those people who only listens to one kind of music and hates everything else, I listen to a wide range of music Alternative, Classic, and Punk Rock, Pop, Metal, R&B, Reggae, Rap, and even a few country songs (not to into the really twangy stuff).

Here are some but not all of the artists I listen to:

Breaking Benjamin

A Day to Remember

A Perfect Circle

Bruno Mars

The Beatles

The White Stripes

Sum 41

Green Day

Nickelback

Incubus

Linkin Park

Katy Perry

Tool

Anberlin

Tupac

Aaliyah

Ne-Yo

LMFAO

Seether

Creed

3 Doors Down

Three Days Grace

30 Seconds to Mars

Bob Marley

Killswitch Engage

 So you can see that I have a wide range of different people not all of them are the most popular bands and I am sure some of them have been made fun of with the same kind of intensity as Justin. Maybe I don’t get it and they are just way over my head, or maybe I have turned into my parents and I now hate all new music because it’s for the kids and all I hear is noise. I totally get having a stupid song stuck in your head but these guys are on the top charts. People can’t honestly tell me that there finger slipped and they clicked the wrong thing over a million times, or it got stuck in your head and you just had to listen to it once.

Nope. I don’t believe it. Don’t give me your excuses just tell me that we aren’t going to do it anymore. Please tell me this will be the last generation of crazy singers that make no sense and kinda scare us sometimes.

Hope this is the end of the fads…. if we are lucky everyone become hipsters and there will no longer be a “mainstream”….. I know I am thinking the same thing “and that’s if we are lucky?”