A New Chapter

Life really does play out in chapters….


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How’s This For An Argument


Why do I feel like no one has every thought of things this way before….. but what if…

Evolution

mindblown

 

…. Let the comments begin I’m sure I will never hear the end of this post. I feel like it needed to be said though because everyone always picks a side but what if there were no sides to pick?

What if we are all on the same side and had nothing to fight about at all?

Evolution VS God Documentary 

 

 

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Little Smiles


I haven’t written anything in a while and if you read my last post “Lost Time” you would have a pretty good idea as to why.

Time seems to be slipping by me these days, rushing through the week just to get to the weekend and of course with the famous saying ” time flies when you’re having fun” so the weekends seem to just fly by too. Before I know it I am half way through the year and already planning for winter events.

Nonetheless there are times when “time” seems to slow down and I have a second  or two to just “smell the roses” if you will.

There are moments when I am with my significant other where I find myself with a “little smile” like I am laughing at my own inside joke. Just the little things like when we go to sleep and we perfectly form to one another and drift off, I am drifting with a little smile.

Or the moment when I walk through the door after a long day and I burst through the door and throw myself on the bed for some much-needed relief and he tells me to come over and sit next to him at our desk. A little smile comes over me because I know he wants me close to him.

When we finish each other sentence almost without even speaking decodable words just babble and grunts and somehow we honestly know exactly what the other is trying to say.

The moment when something happens to me and I want to tell the world … I reach for my phone and the only number I really want to call is his. Telling him is like telling the world to me because he is my world. He is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to bed.

It’s these little things in my life that I truly appreciate and try to never take advantage of. One of the things that I do to try to not take advantage of the person willing to put up with my crazy ass is always saying I love you.

Even when your mad and you have been fighting all day, you better believe that before I go to bed that night I am saying I love you. Before you leave the house either in rage from a fight, or just to go to the corner store I am saying I love you. Just for the simple fact that we are not guaranteed tomorrow and no matter what you did to piss me off that day, nothing would supersedes the overwhelming emotions I would feel if I didn’t say anything and something happened. I am not going to be left alone to sing Katy Perry’s “The One that Got Away.

Well I probably sound like a school girl crushing on her high school obsession, but we have been together for almost 8 years and it just amazes me sometimes how much we still can stand each other.

I think that is what happens when you grow WITH someone and become the person you are WITH them. Because people change constantly, you can’t find the perfect person and say I will only love them as long as they stay like this forever. (not talking about looks because that will obviously change) I think if you can find someone you can grow with and change with then you have found love.

The number one excuse I hear from couples is “he changed” or she changed” but that is expected of any person. You don’t just stop maturing once you have succeeded in finding a mate. You have to be willing to love that person no matter who they want to be that day. That’s love. I found it so I know what I’m talking about. I just wanted share because I think he is the guy that all the girls are looking for and he is mine. I feel like that’s just something that needed to be shouted from the rooftops, but since I can’t get on the roof my blog will have to do.

He has dedicated a few songs to me but this one is one from me to him ❤

Ed Sheeran- “Lego House”


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I think I’m Regressing


Ever since my boyfriend started taking the night shift it has been ridiculous trying to sleep alone at night. I feel like I toss and turn all night because I wake up with all the pillows all over the floor, and the blankets are twisted and hanging off the bed. I thought it would get easier after a while, I even bought a new pillow that is about the same size as me and still I feel like I get no rest in the bed without him there.

I am so tired today it is ridiculous, I feel like I haven’t slept at all, and to top it off it is a super slow day at work so there is not even a high pressure project to keep me awake. I contemplated finding a privacy room to fall asleep in but just my luck I would be caught and fired…. so I went and got a coffee instead.

I have been sleeping next to him for almost 7 years now how am I supposed to get used to sleeping alone?!?! I was thinking that getting to stretch out, finally not be pushed to the edge of the bed, or not being smashed when we rolls over would be enough to satisfy my need for comfy sleep. Unfortunately now I have become accustom to being smashed in my sleep. I even tried piling pillows on top of myself so I could replicate the smashing and nope… just couldn’t breathe and got over heated way to fast.

Every time he leaves when I am about to go to sleep I feel like a little kid that is trying to force their dad to stay home.

I have the whole kid persona down. I have the puckered lip out, the big sad eyes, and I even wine a little bit even though I know him leaving is inevitably going to happen. I would kick and scream but by the time the clock says 9:30 I only have enough strength to push my pillow around and huff and puff a little bit.

Oh well, we have to do what we have to do in order to finally get a house. Though we are practically living in a house now it is not nearly as big as I would like for as many people live there. So once we are walking through the doors of our new house and he is all done with all this night shift crap and he can find a new job or a new shift it will all be worth it, but until then I guess I will have to regress to the prime age of 4 and squeal every time I see him leave or snuggle him when I come home from work and he is still asleep. I just have to take advantage of the little time that we do get to spend together.

If I wasn’t clingy before I sure am now. Every time we are just sitting around next to each other I find myself just trying to touch him anywhere I can, grabbing the little arm of his shirt, scratch his back, pinch or poke… its doesn’t matter to me. When he finally asked me what I was doing I told him, “just tying to get some physical attention while I can!”

Well so far my only coping mechanism I have found is every morning when I have to get ready alone I listen to the same song, it almost makes me want to cry but it is just want I need to hear at that moment so it evens out. (and for the record I haven’t cried yet!)