A New Chapter

Life really does play out in chapters….


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Speak


Speak

I read a book called “Speak” it interested me because I can relate to not being the most popular girl in school, though I was never one of the girls that would do anything to become popular, I, just like many other girls, did want to know what it was like to be popular. After reading the first few pages I was hooked. I could relate to what she was going though in school with people not being too fond of her, and then things got real. She is invited to a party that normally would go on without her knowledge because she was not even cool enough to hear one was going on. Of course things start off well everyone is having a good time even the guy she crushes on is even showing her attention. Things take a turn for the worst when he gets her alone. After taking advantage of her she runs inside and calls 911, forgetting that there is a party going on with all of her schools coolest kids drinking underage.

You can see where I am going with this she is now not invisible because of her social status but she is now a common target of physical and mental abuse because she crashed the party. Knowing that everyone hates her she can’t bear to tell anyone that she called the police because she was raped, it is much easier for her to let them believe she was just a snitch. Even her parent don’t understand her strange behavior and she does not want them to make the situation known so she is alone with her own thoughts and fears, with no on to talk to.

They later made a movie based on the book starring “Kristen Stewart” you may know her from more popular movies like “Twilight”. I never pictured her being the star character for that movie but she played it off well, her natural awkwardness what just what the character needed. For a weird girl that is not bad looking but is a total outcast she can play that roll very well, like in the movie the “Runaways”.

I would say the book was very good and the movie portrayed the book well, so overall it was a good all the way around if you are into Lifetime movies with a moral at the end of every story and a somewhat tragic, yet uplifting ending.  It is very chick flick, teen movie drama but it is still a good flick.

Trailer 

You can watch the entire movie for free on YouTube in parts, it is worth the watch especially if you are unwilling to read the book.

Part 1 

Part 2 

Part 3 

Part 4 

 Part 5 

Part 6

Part 7 

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

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Jokes on Me


Haven’t you ever felt like your ideas are not being heard, and it makes you feel like they don’t really matter. I know everything I come up with isn’t going to turn into a great work of art, but I do think that I have good productive ideas that deserve to be tried, at the very least acknowledged. I never felt like I was the smartest person, I never really felt like I was one of those people with a real talent for anything particular, I have just been mediocre at everything, so for me to speak up and verbalize my opinion takes a lot of courage. I don’t expect the world to walk on egg shells or to pamper me because I take rejection poorly, or have a hard time speaking my mind, but I never really expected the things people had to say about my ideas urk me.

I know I can’t be the only person that grinds their teeth a little while someone is critiquing / criticizing their work. If your anything like me you are prone to rejection and practically expect it to be lurking around every corner, so you prepare, even over prepare yourself, in order to be able to tell yourself, “at least you tried you best, but you knew that wasn’t going to work any ways.”  I can handle people editing something I have thought of or trying to improve on it, but just completely dismissing it? I don’t know why people think that stepping on someone else, will put them one step ahead.

Keeping up an attitude like that seems depressing but it actually better then constantly being disappointed, this way I am always right, whether it works or not. I have lived this way my entire life and there is no point in changing things now. I just was hoping that once I was no longer in school, maybe now that I have grown up a bit I can let my thoughts flow without worrying so much about the repercussions of a thumbs down response. It’s not like I have to cry in a corner if someone didn’t like my opinion, but my blood starts to boil, and I am sure that it’s not good for that vain in the side of your neck to pulse quite so hard.

The fact remains, the same kids that got away with being little jerks because everyone used the excuse “kids will be kids” are now adult little jerks.

You would think that somebody stole my teddy bear and ripped his heart out with the way that I am complaining about not being heard. But I am not in school anymore I am not in a place where the dumb assignment means nothing more than extra recycling waste on a school teachers desk. I am at work now, and my thoughts and opinions should mean something now. I know I will make myself heard.