The perfect customer is dissatisfied but hopeful, uninterested in serious personal development, highly habituated to the television, working full-time, earning a fair amount, indulging during their free time, and somehow just getting by.
Go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch T.V. save for old age, obey the law, then repeat after me: “I am free!”
I have been feeling a need to disconnect, unplug, just walk away from it all and live life carefree scooping ice cream on a beach somewhere. Could it just be because it is summer time and I live in Washington and I am starting to occasionally crave sunshine, or is it just because we were never meant to live a life filled with a 40+ hour work week. Having a job is something to be proud of don’t get me wrong, it is a great accomplishment that you deciphered the code of the system we all grew up in and cracked it! Passed schooling and landed a job you did it! So why do I have all this money and no time to enjoy it with the people I am making all the money for. I’m at a strange point in my life and I have to ask the question, am I alone in this feeling? Do other people share this same feeling or am I just another millennial that feels like work sucks and play is much more fun? Things are just not fair and sometimes I just have the overwhelming feeling to stomp my feet like a child, simply because that is all I can do about the situations that really anger me.
Angry, confused, changed, helpless, enlightened, alone, overwhelmed, excited, open minded….
These are just a few of the emotions that have passed through me recently yet I haven’t had the motivation to put it into words. There is just so much going on and so much to talk about that it seems almost impossible to focus on one subject and just have at it. I have had this overwhelming feeling, like we are on the edge of something great and I don’t want to have my head down blinders on just moseying around mindlessly like another drone through life when it happens.
I hear people say things like “this isn’t how humans are supposed to be living” with so much of the day wasted behind a desk under artificial lights. “LIVE DAMN YOU LIVE.” But we can’t. We aren’t allowed to, or for most of us, don’t have the means to do so. I keep feeling this void that can’t be filled with materialistic things that can be bought, with good job security and decent pay. It can’t be filled with vacations and getaways, it can’t even be filled with the joys of family and love. So what then can fill it?
So many of us feel that same void and try to fill it with sex, drugs, drinks, and simple distractions that the media told us would make us happy and then we think something is still wrong with us when we are not happy with these things we have filled our life with. The things they told us we should be filling our life with in order to finally catch that dream we have been chasing our entire lives. Once we acquire all the things and we have people in our lives that make up happy…. then what? What is it that we are missing?
Time.
Time to live. That’s what we are missing. The time to actually enjoy all the things we spent our entire lives trying to gather and retain. We shouldn’t be forced to wait until we are 65 to enjoy all that life and leisure time have to offer us. We spend the better parts of our day dedicated to going to work, am I supposed to be happy there? We get home and continue with the stresses of todays daily life at home because we have to now spend that money we worked so hard for on the bills that keep the lights on at home and keep all the machines I’ve bought to entertain or assist me running, but does that make me happy? Then I finally get 2 days away from work only to return again for another 5, repetitively for 50 years so that I can one day afford to die in a nice retirement home instead of under a bridge somewhere, is that supposed to make me happy and give me peace of mind? To know I am making enough money to die is defiantly a load of my shoulders….
There is so much corruption and greed in the world that it sometimes feels like there is no alternative to being a drone unless you want to be homeless and hungry under that bridge they are burying you under.
I have started reading books that take my mind to another level of consciousness so that maybe in some realm I can find some bit of happiness. One of them I would highly recommend is “Biocentrism – How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the Nature of the Universe” Though I might warn you its one of those books that after you finish it you kind of look at everyone else as if they are stuck in some illusionistic reality, almost as if you are Neo from the Matrix and you have seen the true reality that no one else can see yet. Its like being in on a secret only you and the author know and your looking at everyone else like they are mindless sheep just following along without asking a single question about life throughout their entire existence.
So now that I know this, what do I do with this new found knowledge? I thought about sharing it but explaining it without sounding like a total loon is pretty hard. Trust me, start reading a few pages of the book I mentioned and you will quickly see that explaining it is like explaining color to the blind. Is it possible that on the journey to discovery, enlightenment and interconnectedness that we somehow feel more alone than ever.
I’m also reading a book called Revolution, which is exactly what we are in need of. An enlightenment, a wake-up call, a realization that everything is not ok, its not going to be ok and nothing is ever going to be the same again.
So what do we do about it? I don’t know, hence the emotions I stated earlier. I can’t be the only person that thinks something is very wrong on a much more grandiose global scale as well as a more intimate internal scale, and with the combination of them both it feels like everything is bound to go nowhere. I brush that feeling off only because I see there are others out there with the same feeling and same questions, seeking the same answers.
It really grinds my gears when people talk about Obama like he is the one single reason why we are in the mess we are in. Its like no one knows what it’s like to work on a team of shitty people and you’re the only one doing the work. (yeah we are the shitty people)
He is one man… that’s it … only one man….. it is going to take a nation to fix nation wide problems.
If you don’t like the way things are?
Here’s a thought, why don’t you research ways to make it better, no matter the scale of your impact, working towards solving a problem is better than just sitting around complaining about it.
No matter who we put in charge… Obama, McCain, or Clinton. (btw…like did you forget what we had to choose from… slim pickin’s) It’s like people thought we were electing a savior not a president. He hasn’t let me down because there is nothing ONE man can do to help or hurt the enormity of these problems, it will take all of us to really make a change.
There are much bigger things going wrong in this world to bitch about… find something other than Obama, he is honestly the least of your worries.
Try these issues on for size.. try bitching about something that matters:
Homelessness
Lack of Clean Water
Lack of Food
GMO Foods
Excess Waste in Landfills
Global Warming
Toxins from Chemtrails
Plastics in the Ocean
Extinction of Animals
Extinction of Places (go see them before they are gone)
Over Population
Slavery (which is still going on in some places google that shit)
Human Trafficking
I can go on forever about much more relevant high priority items on america list of things to bitch about so do me a favor and leave Obama alone, he is just one man, stop treating him like he was supposed to be a savior and he let you down. I am not telling anyone anything they don’t already know but sometime people just need to remove the stick from their ass and realize there is a bigger picture and in the event that any one of the inevitable disasters happens and you are all dying and blaming Obama just remember he will also be dying.
There is no one person that will gain from the suffering of the world so there is no point in saying that is obviously his end goal, because we all will suffer including him. No matter how much money you have, no matter if you’re a republican or a democrat, whether you’re black or white or whether you believe in Jesus or not. When the end come its going to come for all of us and it will also be because of us.
So moral of the story … stop being a racist hick trying to play the blame game and make the change you want to see happening.
“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”~Mahatma Gandhi
I feel like I have been caught in an ocean current and I don’t know which way is up. I can’t come up for air, I just keep tumbling…..I was told by someone close to me that;
If you are ever caught in an actual ocean current then you should just ride it out, and let it carry you until you can get your bearings and find the shore. By riding the current and willingly letting it take you further out into the ocean you will have saved enough energy to swim back to shore and save yourself.
I don’t know how much longer I can tumble or how much longer I can ride it out without coming up for air. What if I can’t make it to the point where I can see the shore to see how far I have to swim before I can get myself back? No one knows I am out here, so no one knows I need to be rescued. I know I am alone in this and it is up to me to hang on and get myself out.
I almost want to just let go and let the water just take me away without a care in the world, but the fear of really losing myself somehow keeps me afloat. The pain of really letting go, outweighed the bliss of losing my fears. I am afraid to even get to the point of finding my bearing because of that moment of utter despair once you see how far are and how much you will have to work to get back. It is the strangest feeling to anticipate, dread, and yearn for the same outcome.
Trying not to acknowledge time at all I just want to ignore it until this time has passed. By counting the seconds it just makes everything seem like it is moving in slow motion. By ignoring it I’m hoping it will be over before I even realize how much time has really passed. Life seems to go by so quickly when we aren’t paying attention.
Seems like I blinked and 2 years of my life were already gone. Those years aren’t filled with regret, I just can’t believe they are gone already. Seems like my life is just passing me by and I am just tumbling being carried further and further out.
I keep trying to remind myself that things can always get worse. That is probably the only thought that is keeping my head barely above the water.
I haven’t blogged for a while and it’s not because I don’t want to, or I lost interest, I just lost time. I don’t know where it went.
I can’t be the only one that can’t believe we are already 3, almost 4 months into the year. It was just freaking Christmas! It was just New Years! Where did the time go?
All week I just can’t wait for the weekend so I do as much as I can just so I can hurry through the week and get to Friday. I have done it so much that months just fly by. The days are a blur, if you told me what did I do this week specifically what I did I wouldn’t be able to answer you. I am afraid I would probably sound like a black out drunk that loses half their memory on a regular basis. (and I don’t even drink!)
I am so thankful for the days when it seem to just zip by and I get to go home from work and it feels like its only been a few hours instead of the half the day. I guess I am just starting to wonder if that is even something to be grateful for.
I guess I keep telling myself that I am in this for the long haul I have a career, not just a job, so I will be doing this for a while. Hopefully for the better part of my life. (Unless I hit the lotto and then I get to retire at 23 so I can sit around like a lazy slob like frequently dream about.)
Nonetheless, I shouldn’t just be speeding through everyday so I can hurry to the finish line, and be done with working. It’s not like I hate my job, I would much rather be home with my family, but wouldn’t anyone trade their job for their family? I mean people only work so they can provide for their family or at least for themselves. Unfortunately you have to lose so much time in the process of providing , it constantly makes me question, is it worth it. I know that it’s because you have to provide to have a family or just to keep yourself alive.
Life is a constant revolving battle of losing time and making up for the lost time.
…Sorry if this sounded a bit like the ramblings of a crazy person…
After looking at some of the videos on YouTube trying to find some new music to listen to, I started looking in the “most popular” categories and “most viewed” categories and after a few really bad songs like “Gangnam Style” I realized that my faith in humanity was slowly diminishing, the more YouTube suggested that I might like this. In case you are not familiar with this huge fail song here it is….. Don’t say I didn’t warn you of the lameness.
Which has 264,422,519 views and he is not even speaking in English.
The only way this is acceptable is if it were a parody.
I think there is some really good music out there that is not being heard because we get crap like this leaked into our ears getting stuck in our heads and tainting our ideas of what “music” really is.
I remember back in the good old days when music had to make since it also had to have some sort of meaning, something that the audience can relate to and sing along to with raw emotion.
I will admit not all the songs I listen to have the deepest meaning I listen to them because they have a good beat but it is still by an artist that is not completely worthless in their song writing abilities.
There is a bad that I recently came across and was astonished by the small amount of people who had listen to him. I was also surprised to see that almost everyone that had clicked on him to view him liked what they heard.
Passenger – Let her go (only 224,911 views as of 9/24/12)
Lyrics:
“Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it’s starts to snow
Only know your lover when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know your lover when you’ve let her go…
And you let her go”
Now I may not be into all the brits music but this guys has a peaceful beautiful voice that just makes you want to keep listening. I can’t believe someone like this with all that natural talent has not completely blown up but someone like Nicki Minaj can get millions of records sold… because of what… just a catchy beat, because the lyrics are not something to be proud of.
Example of all the ridiculousness:
Nicki’s Lyrics to “Super Bass” (280,066,357 Views on YouTube)
“He got that super bass
Boom, Badoom, Boom,
Boom, Badoom, Boom, bass
yeah that’s that super bass”
Yes she made millions on not even saying real words.
Justin Bieber’s “Baby” (781,726,935 Views on YouTube)
“And I was like
Baby, baby, baby ooh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you’d always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you’d always be mine (mine)”
Yes, he said “baby” 18 times in one chorus. And Yes it is also the most viewed video on YouTube.
That’s all it takes to make millions of dollars now a days. At least people have come to their scenes and now he has over 2 million dislikes on the song but that’s still no excuse for there to be almost a billion hits on YouTube for it. When you see that it’s defiantly one of those “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore” kind of times.
I also heard some of Flyleaf’s new songs and became very fond of one of them….
Flyleaf – New Horizon (2012)
While I was listening to her new music I found some of the older stuff I liked too
Another band that is not the most popular has released a new song that I think is pretty catchy not too strangely worded and its something with a beat and a decent voice whats could go wrong. 😉
Civil Twilight – River (2012)
I’m just saying we might need to start getting off the radio buzz and the Google+ “Trending Topics” and go digging for artists that are really artists. We don’t need to be tricked and brainwashed by our TV and radio to listen to Justin Bieber.
I hope I have exposed you to a few songs you might not have heard before and might like, or maybe you hated it but it got you thinking about just exploring some new stuff. Good luck on your YouTube adventures.
I love blogging but I haven’t been in any kind of mood to write anything productive or even moderately interesting. I love to write I just have had writers block for a little over a week now. I’m not saying that the writer’s block is gone, but I think the only way to get rid of it is to just sit down and try to write something. I really want to try to write something before I start working with my new job. I don’t think I will have as much spare time once I start working for this other group.
It’s not really a new job since I will be in the same building and I am only moving over a few bays, I am just going to be working with a new group of people on some new assignments I have never done before. I am excited for the new experience but a little pessimistic about the training. I always hated being in training because everyone automatically assumes that you don’t know anything about anything, and they can’t trust your opinions and ideas because you are a person speaking with no reference.
From what I was hearing about this new group it is going to be much more interesting than the group that I am currently working for now. At the moment I am doing basically data entry work and checking requirements of previously made drawings. But in this new group I will get the opportunity to show off some of the designer aspects of my job title instead of just the technical side.
We will be working on project that involve weight reduction on the plane by combining multi parts and making them one single part so we can remove nuts, bolts, and fasteners. I think it will be fun I just have to go through the “prove what you know” stage again and let everyone know I am not a complete imbecile. I know that I am knowledgeable in the job I am currently in because my boss has decided to take me up a level.There are 4 levels and I was hired at level 1, he said that he is putting in the info for me to become level 2 by next month. I am unsure if it means I will receive another pay bump but I am just happy with the new title. 😉
I thought it would take a lot longer then it has I have only been working here a year and one month and I am already going to get another promotion. I am really proud of where I am today but a little afraid of all the fast paced progress, what do you do once you have finally reached the top? Though I am nowhere near the top, I will be there soon at the rate I’m going (Not that that’s a bad thing 😉 I know I have said this before in another post “Too Much Too Fast?”, but since I talked with my manager about our mid-year evaluations I feel like I should be pursuing further schooling or getting ready to go further with something but at the moment everything is way better than expected (job wise) so pursuing school would actually probably make my current situation worse instead of better.
Things could always be worse so I don’t want anyone to think I am complaining about my situation, I’m just confused, I’m not even frustrated because I am very content with where I am at the moment. I just have to go back to taking things day by day instead of contemplating the future.
Sorry to all my readers if this blog post makes no sense, but like I said the only way to break writers block is to just write!
Life seems to be one big “hurry up and wait” game. Hurry up and go to school so you can graduate and wait for a job. Hurry up and get a good job and wait to retire. Even when you retire it’s the hurry up and retire game, so you can wait to spend all your money.
Never does the saying go, “hurry up so you can enjoy”. Everyone wants to just hurry up and get through everything, when in reality they are hurrying through their life, and waiting to die.
Even I find myself from time to time hurrying through something to get me absolutely nowhere. At work I have tried hurrying through the day just so I can wait for my van… Now where did that really get me? At the end of the day I was going to have to wait for the van anyways mo matter how fast I completed my work.
All I’m saying is, if life is the only game that we are to play here, wouldn’t you want to take your time so you might have a better chance of winning? Because no ones gets out of the game of life alive, the objective of the game is not to live or die it is to enjoy, have fun, and embrace the best moments, and hang on to the memories.
Little things in life we take so seriously, but life itself we pass off as a joke. If I gave you a poster and said you only get one shot to color this poster, you would take as much time as you needed to make that poster perfection. Yet in our own daily lives we color outside the lines as if we could just by a new poster or erase our mistakes.
Even though a life can never be perfection, that isn’t a reason to not to strive for it. Because when we see that poster we have to color it crosses our mind that we might make a mistake, but that never stops us from picking up the crayons and living.
A New Chapter 
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